Canada is one of those countries that's good for "beginners" like me; it's just a tad bit foreign, but not completely off-the-wall foreign. Oh, I suppose if I'd gone to Quebec I would have been panic-stricken, as my French is nearly non-existent, but even so, there are certain things about Canada that are handy to know before you go.

1. Canadians go to the "washroom," not the "bathroom." Plus, their washrooms are the cleanest I've ever seen in my life, even the public ones. I only saw one that was dreadful.

2. Canada has $1 and $2 coins, so if you buy something that costs $2.50 with a $10 dollar bill, you might end up with all coin change. This happened to me at a convenience store, and for a nanosecond, I thought the guy had given me the wrong change.

3. I wouldn't say Canadians have an accent, but there is a definite difference between the way Canadians talk and the way people from the States talk. "About" comes out, "aboot," as Canadians don't pronounce the letters "ou" in a word as "ow," the way people from the states do.

4. Canadians say "eh" a lot. If a Canadian comes to the U.S. and utters the simple phrase, "I don't know what you're talking aboot, eh?" everyone will know he/she is Canadian. If you are an aspiring Canadian spy, speech patterns are probably the first thing you should work on to avoid detection.

5. People from the States say they are "going to the University," Canadians are "going to university." They omit the article "the," which is probably a leftover thing from England.

6. Canadians really are polite. If you bump into one, they will most likely say "excuse me." It happened to me. Twice.

7. While I'm sure there are Canadians who suffer from depression, just about everyone I dealt with there was either perky, cheerful, helpful or all three. And if I needed directions and they couldn't help me, they seemed genuinely sorry. Or, as they would say, "sorey."

8. Canadians are friendly too. As someone who really can't stand people, going to Canada restored my faith in humanity. For those of you who think I'm a total bitch, I was glad to be among friendly people in Canada. I wasn't a bitch there, believe me.

9. NOBODY I talked to thought Bush was a good person; so any conservatives from the states planning to go up north had best shut their traps about their hero, lest they want disapproval.

People who don't like Canada should stay HOME