I haven't done one of these in a while. I decided to do a little update, an "Editor's Note," so to speak. 2004 was a hellish year for me; I'm hoping 2005 will be better, but it doesn't seem to be starting out so well. Continuous underemployment and dislike of the City of Fort Wayne is taking its toll on me. I hope I can get out of here while I still have the strength and guts to do so. The city has positives going for it (low cost of living, brief commutes to work) but also has negatives (stagnant economy, crappy jobs, an unfriendly vibe) that makes me think perhaps grinding away at a couple jobs in a bigger city might be the answer. I may be living in a studio apartment, but maybe the excitement of being in a "real" city might make the struggle worthwhile. That won't be for a while yet, but I do have plans to reach my goal. But who knows what life will throw my way? If I get a decent job offer somewhere else, I'll definitely consider it. Great local jobs aren't forthcoming, and maybe this is a little ego thrown in, but I don't think I was meant to run a register or stock shelves for the rest of my life.

But that's what a lot of people are facing. Times aren't just tough, they are brutal. I can't remember having such a tough time finding a job, ANY job. Just about everywhere I look, things are hopeless. It's hard not to get really down about things, but I guess we were long overdue for a "correction." The 90s were a good economic decade, the terrorist attacks just pushed us over the edge into the recession we should have had in the late 90s.

Anyway, I've gone through some rough life changes recently. I opened my eyes to a wonderful city, Toronto, and I sort of have to thank a guy who read AYW online and finally decided to write to me for that. I went up and stayed in his town, partly because it was cheaper than staying in Toronto, partly to meet him. I never did meet him (and probably never will, but that's another story) but realized Toronto had stolen my heart. I've never felt so at home in a city before. I'd never been there in my life, but I was walking around downtown and driving without any fear of getting lost or in a wreck or anything. A foolish way to think perhaps, as Toronto is a major city and has its share of crime, but there was plenty of good karma to be had up there. Everything seemed to fall into place and despite being American, no one gave me any crap, which I was grateful for. So again begins the fantasy of moving out of Fort Wayne to somewhere I was happy to be. Toronto is the new goal, but as in the past, I'm sure something will happen to screw up that too.

My personal life continues to be wacky. I heard through a very reliable source that Benny Fuckhead is no longer married; that really came as no surprise to me. What DID come as a surprise was his current mental state. Suffice it to say he isn't the guy I knew when we were friends. Those of you who read "Here We Go Again" a couple issues ago know what I'm talking about. My former friend had lost his mind and married a girl he'd known only six months. It was just too bizarre, but updates from the reliable source are downright scary. The truth is stranger than fiction, and this proves it. Many apologies to Benny's ex-wife for any hostilities I may have had towards her. It has now been proven they were unwarranted. For laughs re: Benny Fuckhead, cut and paste the following into your browser: www.geocities.com/bitch_goddess_hj

So here's another issue of Angry Young Woman. Pam de Montmorency contributes her take on "Desperate Housewives." She wrote it in December, hence the holiday references, so I decided not to change it despite it being nearly March. I rattle on about my trip to Canada, Canada/USA differences, what to do/say when you are in Canada, my holiday job, a job "carnival" that I participated in and the hypocrisy that pervades television.

But one day at a time. Hopefully the underemployment problem will change and I'll be able to really work on my goals. If you want to help me in my goal to get to Canada, feel free to send a non-tax-deductible donation to the Send the Bitch to Canada Fund, P. O. Box 50167, Fort Wayne IN 46805. Thank you and good night.